I do believe my heart is broken. I fully believe this. Ever since I moved here from Ohio on a whim, I've felt like I've been dreaming and I just want to wake up and go back to everything I deserted. I just want to wake up... At first I felt like Virginia was just what I needed to calm the storm Ohio had festered. But now, ... now I just feel alone and depressed and I can't imagine doing this every single day and feeling this every single day. I like Cameron very much when he's not around his friends. But, he breaks me down, wears me down. I'm scared to be myself around him. If I try to show him something- he'll half glance my way and say "yep" and go back to whatever he was doing or whoever he was talking to before he even finishes saying "yep". It's so... I don't know. It hurts my feelings very much. Very much. Like I'm not even worth the time, like I'm annoying, like I'm just a hassle that he has to drag around. When he's around his friends he puts me in the role of: you're here to be a bitch. You're the bitch. You don't get a say in this, you don't have feelings, this is your role, you're just the bitch.
I hate who I am.
And I want to cry. I'm so fed up with this whole thing. Not just Cameron, but Virginia itself. Life itself, now, because this is home and I have to live with it. I want to wake up, please. please. please. please wake up.
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