I think Cameron is cheating on me. Day2 of "something is fishy about this". Awesome. I'm leaving for a week and he's scared of what I'll do while I'm scared of what he'll do. Which is ridiculous given the circumstance. Now, now matter how much I believe you should love a person no matter their past, I still believe that I should get a little leeway with the way I worry and he should cut me some slack with his worries. He's the 2nd guy I've slept with and I'm his 31st, or so. Don't know. And he does have a record of cheating and I never have. Plus, add in the fact that my ex of two years cheated on me in our own apartment and I think I deserve to be a little bit afraid. I don't know. I've got to go, regardless. If he cheats, he cheats, and fuck it. I'll get the fuck over it and quit being such a pussy, I guess. He's worried that I'm emotionally attached to him. And I am. Last night he said that if we split up, neither one of us would care much.... but I kinda' would care, so I didn't know how to respond. Kind of a slap in the face, isn't it?
My ex, James, randomly texted me yesterday asking about Cameron and talking about his girl like we're friends. Which was cool and dandy and I played along, but then it came up that Cameron was upset with me and James took it and ran off on a spree of insults that hurt my heart like you wouldn't believe. Why do I even let people in?
2/2 people into my heart have fucked me.
No, that's not true. Cameron hasn't done anything to me. I need to realize that. I need to quit making my fears a pseudo-crime.
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